[Sorry in advance for the random/un-connected-ness of this post. There were a lot of thoughts that I had a hard time stringing together…and this is the outcome of it.]
Joy. Sadness. Grief. Hope. Courage. Fear. Love. Anticipation. Contentment.
My thoughts and emotions bounce all over the place sometimes. At any given moment it could be anything from memories to contemplations, life at the present to the future, hopes, goals and dreams for tomorrow as well as the failings of yesterday.
There are days (like today) when I wish I had a way of letting people see inside of me, a way of showing my heart/thoughts in a way that would help people understand me more. If I were gifted with words, I would write a poem or song expressing my heart to the world. If I were more musically inclined, I would play an arrangement that let you hear the plenitude of my emotions.
I often find myself wishing that I had someone who really understood me, who knew as much about myself as I do. I wish for someone who not only complements me, but completes me. Someone who will spend time with me and be my emotional support. Someone who loves me even when I make bad decisions. Someone who thinks I’m beautiful and lovely even when I look awful and have a bad attitude.
Then I realize that I do have that Someone. [I know this would seem like a ‘duh!‘ realization, but I need it.]
He created me. He knows every little thing about me. He is my rock and my refuge, the One I (should be the first to) run to when life gets tough. He loves me enough that He died for me. And He holds my heart. (Psalm 139)
I wish I could say I never take my relationship with God for granted. It sure would save a lot of these ‘duh!‘ moments. But then there would be less room for improvement. I am thankful that God graciously gives chances for a new start every time I slip up.
Reading this post might drive you crazy because it’s
not written terribly well (although I did warn you at the beginning), but maybe(?) it’ll give you a brief glance into me. And even if that’s not the case, ah well. I love Jesus!